In this unexpectedly heavy episode of Canada Is Boring, Rhys and Jesse dig into a part of Canadian history most people never hear about: Canada’s 200‑year relationship with slavery.

While many Canadians grow up hearing about the Underground Railroad and Canada as a safe haven, Rhys reveals a much darker past—from New France-era slavery to British rule, and the brutal legal framework that allowed slavery to exist in Canada.

Rhys and Jesse take a hard left turn from jokes into one of the darkest and least‑discussed parts of Canadian history: slavery in Canada. From New France’s Code Noir to household slaves as status symbols, from Marie‑Joseph Angélique and Chloe Cooley to the slow legal death of slavery by the 1820s, this episode challenges the myth of Canada as the purely “good guy” of North American history.

In the STD Zone, Jesse debriefs his recent trip to Cuba—tourism, cash chaos, and the everyday realities behind the resorts.

00:00 – Cold open & dark topic warning
00:37 – “Canada is Boring” intro & Cuba trip mention
02:10 – Did Canada have slavery? Myth vs reality
03:24 – Everyone’s heritage is horrible (caveman metaphor)
04:10 – New France, Code Noir & how slavery came to Canada
05:23 – Slavery as “normal” and what we don’t question today
06:30 – Smoking, social change & Canadian vs UK smoking habits
07:05 – Scale of slavery in Canada vs the United States
07:25 – Household slavery as a status symbol in Canada
08:05 – Indigenous slaves (Panis) and French slave laws
09:11 – Brutality of Code Noir: allowed to kill, brand, mutilate
10:25 – Life expectancy of enslaved people & daily reality
11:04 – Marie‑Joseph Angélique and the Montréal fire
11:30 – Outrage, resistance & humans as reactionary
12:20 – Patreon plug & tonal whiplash
12:49 – Loyalists bring more enslaved people to Canada
14:25 – Chattel slavery explained: people as property
15:17 – Shockingly low life expectancy & Canadian denial
16:37 – What happens after abolition? No land, no money, no plan
17:29 – Britain “buys” freedom & pays slave owners
18:19 – Structural inequality and the legacy of slavery
19:05 – Chloe Cooley’s resistance and the Niagara River incident
21:05 – 1793 Act Against Slavery & slow death of the system
22:12 – Collapse of slavery in Quebec, last sales & ads
23:15 – By the 1820s, slavery fades and Canada becomes a haven
24:16 – Why this history matters & Black History Month context
25:00 – Remembering Chloe Cooley & who’s on our money
25:26 – Ditching royals for Canadian heroes on banknotes
26:29 – Tease: Wayne Gretzky, Trump & future episode idea
26:35 – Entering the STD Zone (small talk dimension)
27:04 – Cuba recap: resorts, tourists & first impressions
28:00 – Cuba vs Morocco: poverty, scams & generosity
29:38 – Varadero as “Disneyland for Cuba”
30:00 – Rhys’s 1990s Havana memories & hot water shortages
30:42 – Shortages in Cuba: dairy, butter & first world problems
31:25 – The “famous Cuban cow” and propaganda
31:52 – The nightmare of getting cash in Cuba
33:18 – Banks, pesos, limits & ATMs with no money
35:16 – Taxi drivers, credit cards and side‑deal offers
37:04 – The pool bar, e‑transfer rescue & tipping story
37:52 – Final reflections on privilege vs Cuban reality
38:10 – Outro: educational but not “enjoyable” & sign‑off